I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
