There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
