wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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