Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
