I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
