just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
