bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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