at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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