You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
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Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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