he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
