Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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