There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
