Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
