I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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