So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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