she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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