She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
