Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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