Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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