you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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