just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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