how can u be prego again
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
