Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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