hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
