I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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