Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
