I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
