i just google imaged poop.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
