Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.