My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico