There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
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Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.