So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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