Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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