And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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