im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
