very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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