I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
