the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
