thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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