Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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