Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
