so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
