i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
