Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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