Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
