you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
