Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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