I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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