I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
