Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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