Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
