I want to stick my p in your. b.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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