I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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