I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize