arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The air was thick with penises
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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