rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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