Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
