He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
do nipples grow back?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
