Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
birth control should be required to get into college
Green mimosas i think yes
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
