I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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