i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize