I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
pray to the hookup gods
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
