so explain again why im purple
no
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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