I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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